Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
