This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
