So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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