I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
