so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize