420 ftw
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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