Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
