I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
