Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
