Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
