Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
