The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
