so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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