Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize