Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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