Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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