Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!

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(760): View more from California

The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..

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(913): View more from Kansas

The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.

(816): View more from Missouri

Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from

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(520): View more from Arizona

She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come

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