Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
In America we eat man semen.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
