The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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