This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
