i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
