you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
