yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
