I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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