Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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