So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
