Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
