Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
