i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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