i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
