I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
