turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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