i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
