Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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