remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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