dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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