roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
