Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize