R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
