i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
