can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
