At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Two words: blizzard sex
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
