Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
