I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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