I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
This house was built for laser tag.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
