Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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