white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
