Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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