You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
In other news, I just burned my penis
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
