Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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