it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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