His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize