after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
