we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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