i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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