Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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