oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
i out mim tonsoeep
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