were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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