the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
