sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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