Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
