the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize